My Story

Why I Support Neurodivergent Families

I have tried so many times to record a video that explains why I started Diverse Living Devon and every time, it just hasn’t felt right…..

But I really think it is so important to share this, hopefully I can publish this one.

I started Diverse Living Devon because once upon a time my family and I were on our knees.

At the time I knew about various neurological differences. However, I didn’t understand of how they could present in daily life, particularly in girls. Early on, I realised that what we were experiencing were not typical tantrums. No child, especially at her age, could possibly be that stubborn. Because I had never experienced any thing like this before I turned to traditional parenting methods. They didn’t last long. It quickly became clear to me, that she was in genuine distress.

I tried many different routes to access support. Some helped, but looking back with the knowledge I now have, I can see that I had already described clear signs of emotional dysregulation and other challenges.

If just one of those professionals had received training in recognising and supporting neurodivergent traits, she might have received recognition much earlier. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

One of my stress responses is to learn everything I possibly can about a subject.

In this case, that subject became neurodivergence.

The more I learnt, the more our lives improved. My understanding of behaviours, reactions, and even small moments began to expand.

I could also give her the language to understand herself. For example she used to completely blow if she had gotten too hungry

-traditional approaches might say she should have to wait for dinner is ready –

But my thinking was simple: if she waits too long, she will become too dysregulated to eat at all. So instead, she could have a small snack if she was nearing her “hunger point.” She still ate her dinner afterwards.

That small change made mealtimes far more enjoyable for everyone. More importantly, she began to feel empowered by understanding her own needs. When those moments happen now, we explain them simply. No blame. No shame. Just understanding.

Eventually we applied for an assessment.

The school did not see any signs of divergence. However, the clinician who completed the assessment and diagnosis did not rely on that alone. He explained that girls are often missed, especially those who mask well.

High masking can sometimes help with self-preservation. However, it should never dominate someone’s life. Long-term masking can cause significant emotional harm.

Receiving this knowledge lifted a huge weight from my child’s shoulders. She felt empowered by understanding herself. She no longer worries that she sees the world differently. In fact, she now recognises that perspective as a strength. She can often anticipate difficult days now, which allows us to plan for them. Does that mean those days become easy? Not at all.

But she knows who she is. She understands her values and her character. And that knowledge matters.

My wish, and my passion in life, is to help others feel comfortable with who they are. I want to help people find ways to navigate difficult days, celebrate the good days, and thrive as themselves.

If you would like support for your family, you can explore my services here.